don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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