He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
