You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
