yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
