i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
