I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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