sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
