arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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