Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Randomize
