His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
