i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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