I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
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