I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
