what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
