I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
