Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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