so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
