So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
