We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
