Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
