Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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