You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize