Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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