I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize