drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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