Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
