drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
