it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
