break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
