he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize