Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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