so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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