I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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