Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
