k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
