yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
