Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
