I bet he comes in French.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Come on in and take your pants off
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