things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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