I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
