I heard we made out
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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