I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize