Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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