My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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