I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My penis needs a shock collar
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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