i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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