hotel room ftw
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
