that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
