Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
