His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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