this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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