I wish my penis had an off switch
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
