redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
