The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
