that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
