What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
