Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She's JV to your varsity
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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