I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
