I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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