i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He kissed a someone with a penis
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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