Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
