i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
