the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
