im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
