You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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