just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Randomize
