Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
