a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
