i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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