They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
