I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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