Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
