bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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