do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
