Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
